Bookie hired to come up with weird Donald Trump bets

How much money would be willing to bet on this man doing… anything?
Image: AP/REX/Shutterstock

If the Trump administration is going to be a nightmare bacchanalia of buffoonery and incompetence, the least we can all do is make a little money off it, right?

Irish betting house Paddy Power, who’s been offering odds on Trump’s impeachment since he was sworn in, announced it now has a bookie designated entirely to the burning tire fire that is the Trump administration.

Joe Lee is the lucky man in charge of rolling out odds on things like “Trump forces out Sean Spicer” or “Anthony Scaramucci is fired” or, yeah, Trump gets impeached.

So what are some of the Trump specials that Paddy Power has to offer?

  • To confirm he’s had some form of hair surgery: 2/1

  • Re-open Alcatraz as a working prison: 14/1

  • The infamous, rumored “pee tape” to be released in 2017: 14/1

  • To surgically enhance his penis: 50/1

  • To grow a Hitler mustache: 66/1

  • To have his likeness minted on U.S. currency during his term: 100/1

Those are … something. Though the currency thing seems much more likely than the Hitler mustache, this is Trump we’re talking about, so you never can tell.

U.S. betting house Bovada even offers you a chance to bet on whether or not Trump will be banned from Twitter in 2017.

But what else would you be willing to bet on? We thought of a few ourselves that maybe Paddy Power is interested in taking on.

  • Trump will declare war against North Korea via Twitter

  • Trump ditches Mike Pence for Gary Busey on the 2020 trail

  • Trump appoints Sen. Kid Rock to the Supreme Court

  • Aliens visit Earth but Trump starts a war with them immediately

  • Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell are forced to cage fight for Trump’s affection during Trump’s next State of the Union

  • Odds on the former Trump staffer who will have the most successful Dancing With The Stars performance: Sean Spicer, Kellyanne Conway, Anthony Scaramucci, or Steve Bannon

See? There’s so much to bet on, and we’re just scratching the surface.

If we’re just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic that is the U.S.A., let’s get rich or die trying.

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Tags: culture donald-trump gambling odds politics

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